Radiantly healthy!

(Having fun at the Auto Museum in Gateway)

I am done with exactly 25 radiation sessions... and I feel great! My skin is burned a bit but is already healing and my energy increases every day. It is so nice not to have to get up and be at radiation at 8am - I feel like my life is back in my hands.

I am riding my bike every day... I even ride it to my exercise class! I am planning a small vacation and (gasp!) even lesson planning and getting ready for school to start.

Our GJHS book club is still meeting every Wednesday at the Bistro (15th & Chipeta) - if you need something good to read please stop by at 4pm. Di has some great new books! I'd love to see you there!

Radiation is over - July 8th 2008

Entering the danger zone...

Laying on the table ready to radiate...

My wonderful doctor... Dr. Miller...

My hair is coming back!

Summer hit and I checked out! I figured it was time to update the blog! I have completed 3 weeks of radiation - EVERY morning! 2 more weeks to go. It is going fine - my skin is a bit red and sore and I am tired - naps in the afternoons are a great thing! I am enrolled in a exercise program and am working on getting in shape. I also have enjoyed hiking with my kids.

My hair is growing! Not quite long enough yet to spike but it is getting there! There is a great debate on what color it is.... definitely dark brown... and blonde spots (my opinion)... and grey spots (my kids opinion). Honestly, I don't care what color - any day with hair is a good hair day!

The GJHS relay for life team was very successful! Many great people came out and walked with us. I got a swing at the "Smash Out Cancer" car... using a sledgehammer... I smashed out the windshield and won $10!! Yeah, a little pent up aggression there!

A bit of catching up to do!

It has been a bit hectic since my last (and final!) chemo. The chemo, as everything else has been, was eventful! My friend Kate was with me and took the following notes….

LAST CHEMO – March 27, 2008
"Cappi Making a Scene"

Roses are red.
Spring grass is green.
During Cappi's last chemo,
She caused a scene.

10:30 AM – wheezing – everyone rushes in ….O2 sat = 99% Dr. Mike Berguin came to listen to chest; Dr. Kim Gibson took over.50 mg Solumedrol (corticosteroid) – anti-inflammatory Benadryl – for wheezing – upper airway reaction

What happened was…. During the download of one of the chemos (I actually got three different ones every three weeks for 6 times) I got an allergic reaction. I didn't know… I get "loopy" from one of the anti-nausea drugs and just started coughing and it was tough to breath but I just kept talking! I figured it was spring and I was getting an allergy (not real clear thinking on the loopy drug.) Finally the nurse came over and realized what was happening. She kind of scolded me for not telling her. I asked her if she didn't hear me coughing and making a racket… she said she just thought we were LOUD… I said "I'm a Librarian!!!"

It was a bit intimidating with doctors and nurses surrounding me and pulling out the "EMERGENCY KIT" and shooting drugs into my IV. The Benadryl knocked me out and I slept through the rest – I don't even remember going home though I am told I woke up, made another appointment, and got home. Thank goodness Kate & Larry were there with me. The worrisome part of this is I am supposed to get that chemo until December. Yeah, I am done… but not really. I get the herceptin for a full year, through the port, every three weeks. I am also supposed to get something else (tamoxifen?), pill, for 5 years.

The herceptin is not supposed to have the side effects with it so my hair is SUPPOSED to start coming back and my fatigue should start getting better. I do have an appointment with the oncologist before the next download – I'm a bit worried about the allergic reaction and why.

I've also met with the radiation doctor. They put little tiny tattoos on me showing the area that has been (will be) radiated so I am never radiated again there. It might cause cancer! But come to find out the "expander" that they put in has some metal in it so I can't be radiated until it is removed.

So I have reconstruction surgery scheduled for April 23rd. I should be back to work on Monday the 28th if all goes well. I guess after I heal they will start the radiation, every weekday, for 5 weeks. They didn't really tell me when I would start???

We are in the throws of planning our "Relay for Life" team at school. Our "Welcome to the Jungle" team is coming along! Big plans! If you want to help check it out at...
http://gjhs.mesa.k12.co.us/RelayforLife.htm

Thanks again for all the comments, emails, and kind words! I am the luckiest (if not the quietest!) Librarian in the world.

Happy Easter

The easter bunny came by my house a day early and left a wonderful basket for my 4 kids! They were thrilled this morning. We are headed to Grandma Leota's for an easter lunch later, the sun is shining, and life feels good.

My two youngest are outside now hiding and hunting eggs for each other! (Its the chocolate for breakfast that I am worried about!)

I am preparing for the final chemo. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday, the chemo on Thursday, and a "rest" day on Friday. Then I will start the process of feeling better! The idea that they won't be "zapping" me again is wonderful. I am tired of being tired.

After that last photo I thought I would post what it really looks like. This is the chemo in the IV drip bags that is connected to my port - an "input" in my chest so they don't have to do an IV in my veins each time. It really is not bad and I don't feel anything. It just hits me later...

I hope you all have a happy easter and get a chance to get out into the sunshine!

After today only ONE more to go!

It is 10:30am and I've started the chemo download. There is something that they give me for nausea and it makes me dizzy. Actually... it makes me feel like this....

Hee hee!

I am really looking forward to being done with this part of this process. The side effects are really not a lot of fun. And I want my immune system healthy - it seems like my kiddos are always coughing or something! I am hoping to spend as much time with them next week during spring break as possible. I miss them more than anything. I am thankful for all the people who have helped take care of my boys while I concentrate on getting healthy.

Hanging in there!

It is Monday morning and I am feeling good! Thankful to have made it through last week. After the "chemo download" I was in bed from Friday night until Monday night. Wow. It just knocks me out and I can't even get out of bed. I do not like NOT having ANY energy. I do not like it Sam-I-Am!!!

This week is better... I even had a dream last night that I was going to get my hair cut. I enjoyed running my fingers through my (even if imaginary) hair! I cut it short and spiky. Yikes!

Jane White & EPYCS have formed a GJHS "Relay for Life" team. Relay for Life is an American Cancer Society event to celebrate survivors, remember the people we've lost to cancer, and fight back against this disease. We encourage GJHS staff or students to join our team!! Or if you would like help by making a donation go to our team site or to my site. It is a fun event for a great cause - I'll be there doing the "SURVIVOR LAP"!!! Yes!

Happy Valentine's Day

Thursday: Chemo #4 - Over half way to the end

I am loving being alive this morning! The nurses gave me a beautiful dark red scarf to celebrate, and it makes me happy. The snow is sprinkling lightly outside and I feel quite peaceful and ready to take on the chemo.

I am sitting here in the "Chemo - recliner" with a warm blanket wrapped around me. My wonderful nurse Carol is taking very good care of me. Bill ,the lively volunteer, is very kind and brings me water and tea whenever I need.

(Being able to "blog" as I am here is awesome -St. Mary's offers free wireless to patients. We need to work on student wireless access at school!)


I am currently "downloading" (my term for being hooked up to the IV) my first of three chemotherapy treatments. I don't really feel anything when they download - but one of the anti-nausea meds makes me a little loopy! (So if I start rambling or not making sense you'll know why.)

So I am feeling ready to be done with all of this. All of the side effects that I am feeling are all "do-able" but when I add them up, it really gets to me.


Being tired is one thing. I can deal with it. I go to bed early and get a good nights sleep. When I am at work, I try to spend a good amount of time sitting at my desk doing computer work and taking it easy physically.

The heartburn is manageable. I eat small meals throughout the day and this helps. Also lots of water helps (I really do try to remember to drink water!!!)

The foot pain last week was a bit much! Did you get the opportunity to see my multi-colored toe socks with my tiger flip-flops? Wow, what a fashion statement that was! Mostly the bottoms and sides of my feet were sore - like they had been rubbed raw with sandpaper inside my shoe. Really nice! I have moved up to being able to wear my house slippers and now, my Birkenstocks! (All these shoes are much more warm weather ones... the snow could be finished in my opinion!)

And the big one now... Neuropathy (If I've spelled it right) is pain in my muscles. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. It really hurts to bend or kneel on the floor. Kind of like how my muscles might feel after running a marathon that I didn't train for. Ouch!

I have been given some new medicines that should help with the heartburn and the muscle pain. I am going to check into an exercise program aimed at breast cancer patients to help them with fatigue and stretching after surgery. I think that will help me feel better.

I am going to take it really easy this weekend in hopes of being ready for work on Tuesday!

(Oh, and as long as I am feeling good, I'll be in on Friday -- for Lunch Games -- Get those grades up and come play!)

This all sounds like I am down... and I am a bit. But mostly I am focused on that this is better than dead! And it is all a very short time in my life and there are many lessons I can learn from this experience.... learning is good... what will I learn today?

See you all soon!

Snow day!

I did make it back to work on Wednesday and it sure felt good. Now, Monday morning and I am ready to get back to it and the weather is not cooperating! This is the first time (that I can remember since I've been here) that school is closed for snow! The roads don't look too good and I am happy not to have to drive this morning. If you can, just stay home!!

I am planning on doing laundry and reading. I went to Barnes & Noble over the weekend and picked up a few book requests... I guess now I get to read them first! Romeo & Juliet Manga, the new Vampire Kisses book, and a couple others that just jumped into my hands! Shocking!

Be safe and stay warm.

Tuesday and still home!

I am feeling better this morning, but not quite energetic enough to go to work. I'll be there Wednesday!!! It is really important to me to take care of myself and give me plenty of time and rest to heal and deal with all the effects of the "cure". I want to come through this healthy and happy and to do that, I have to slow down a bit now. So one more day of comedy videos can only help!

Thanks to all the folks who have brought me dinners... besides not being a very good cook myself, it really has helped while my energy resources are low. My appetite has been the one constant and even though things taste different after chemo, it is all so much better than my cooking! :-)

What about this snow?? I like it since I'm not driving in it!

Sunday Night

I just arranged my sub for tomorrow. I've been in bed all day today and just feel tired and sore. I'm going to take one more day to rest and recoup from the chemo. I should be feeling better tomorrow and should be ready for work on Tuesday. My body takes such a "hit" from the chemo that I really want to give it as much care as possible so it can be as strong as possible!

Guess what the best thing for me to do when I am feeling sick like this?? Comedy videos!! I can't seem to concentrate long enough to read or watch a movie but a comedy DVD works great! If you have any suggestions for good comedy, let me know! See you soon!

Half way there!

3rd chemo is done! And, though I was feeling a bit down before hand, I went into it feeling really good. Strong, ready and able to handle it and use it for my benefit (to get rid of any of those pesky cancer cells) and then go on with things.

Today I did show up at school (who could miss guitar hero???) I hung around for lunch, downloaded a book on MP3 for a student and checked out the MP3 player, and did a few errands. Oh yeah and sang happy birthday to Travis and ate some German Chocolate cake thanks to Vickie! Not a bad day at all.

So much of getting through this process has been a mind thing, which has surprised me. So much of how I feel and react depends upon where my mind is and what I think about. This time I really concentrated on the positive, on using the process for healing, and trying to make the mind-body connection work together. And guess what? I really do feel better. Feeling good and laughing have also been big "healers" for me.

Thank you to anyone who has been reading this, has been a part of this, and has been thinking about me. It has helped! Only 3 more to go - and poof! - back to being high energy and healthy. See you at school on Monday!

I have decided to continue this blog, even though I am back to work. That way I still get the "outlet" to write about my experience, students can still check up on me even if they can't make it to the library, and, since many of my (out of town) family members found this blog, I will keep it up for them too!

Work has been great. It is nice to be back in the library... though you can often hear me ranting about the germs on keyboards! (Also be sure to check out the posters my student aides are working on for the bathrooms to encourage hand washing!!)

Thursday is my 3rd chemo - and I am halfway there. I am really upset to be missing Friday and guitar hero (come ask us about playing at lunch - it is really fun!) Next Friday I want to play... any staff members want to challenge me??? :-)

So, this week I am a bit down... it is tough to feel like the next chemo is looming over me waiting to make me sick (and just when I am feeling good.) Ok, ok so I get to whine a bit, and really I do see it as a means to an end (getting well) and am good with it but it still is frustrating sometimes. And my "advisor" Miki says I need to not only put in the "good" stuff but share the "downer" stuff too. I do want to be as truthful as possible! (Another good thing, Miki says.)

Well, I have to go - until next time!

Vacation is almost over...

Well, I think I have finally felt like I was on vacation because I have not updated this blog!! It feels more like a vacation when all of you are off from school too!

Yesterday was my 2nd round of chemo. All went well, dear friends were with me, and honestly life is good. Just mixed in it all I have to deal with this "new thing".

Alright... so last week I was getting some hair on my shoulders, more and more in the shower, and plenty on my pillow. After about 3 days I was pulling out HANDFULS!!!! It was driving me crazy! It was everywhere. So I jumped in. I had a friend start cutting....

What fun we had though (Sorry Mr. Whiteford, the idea of fundraising off of shaving my head is over -- of course this had to happen during break!!) and took it off in stages. Of course I had to take pictures... I'll see if I can somehow post them because they are pretty fun.

What I found out?? Hair really helps keep your head warm. I no longer need a big glob of shampoo when I take a shower. Wigs look pretty hysterical on me. There is a wide variety of hats out there. I have a really nice head, no scars, good shape, awfully white! In those 'get to know you' games where they make you answer the question... "You'll never believe it but I...." I will now be able to respond with "I have had a Mohawk!" (now those are some good photos!) Change can be a very good thing. What you can really believe at one moment (loosing my hair will be so awful, can I bare it?) can completely change with time (when will I ever give myself the opportunity to see what it is like to be bald again?) So much of how I feel and look, really comes from inside my head, not on top of it!

I hope you are all enjoying your break, I look forward to seeing you soon!!

(Note: I figured out how to post photos and there are a couple of them at the bottom of the left column!!)